What The Fuck Sony: Everything Trailer and Impressions

A few months ago Sony shocked the world by promoting “Life of Black Tiger” and “Skylight Freerange 2” on the official PlayStation YouTube as well as access to the PlayStation  store. These were not just bad games, these were “never to be finished steam early access” bad. I don’t know why Sony gave these games the attention they did, but the only reasonable assumption i can make is that the creators had some dirt on Sony CEO Kaz Hirai that he was desperate not to let get out. If so, those two must have let something slip becuase here we are again, asking “what the fuck sony” as an unbelievably bad trailer for an even worse looking game gets featured.

To Everything’s credit, it is more ambitious than those other two crimes against nature. The ability to zoom from the molecular level to a galactic one is, admittedly, an interesting concept. On top of that, the idea that it all matters, that a grander or more complex scope isn’t inherently more important, that’s something i can get behind. But then the gameplay starts and all i can say is “what the fuck sony?”

Did all the games budget go into that pompous voice over? Did the dev team thing ambition meant they didn’t need to do some basic fucking animation? I mean….the animals just fucking role around. I got more fluid movement out of little wooden animal figurines as a child than these guys got with modern technology.

And the trailer just….keeps….going. This motherfucker is over 10 minuets long. 10 minuets of pseudointellectual rambling and awkward gameplay.

I can really only see two good reasons as to why this trailer even exists: the game is not ready to be shown but something had to get pushed out, or the PR team fundamentally does not know how to properly market it. Then there is the potability that this is exactly what the game is like, this is exactly how the team behind it wanted you to first experiences it and whoever runs the PlayStation YouTube took a big hit of “everything” and said “yup, that looks like a quality product we want to promote.”

 

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