Nintendo’s Dastardly Scheme to Sell more Switch Units: Dark Souls

You ever get mad at a game and throw your controller? I bet you have. We’ve all done it once or twice. Well, i think i just figured out Nintendo’s plan in increase revenue for the foreseeable future: Dark Souls. With the announcement that the incredibly difficult game will be coming to Nintendo’s portable system, i can only imagination they are hoping people are going to throw the entire thing at a wall when playing in portable mode, forcing them to buy a new Switch console after every few bosses. It’s just the kind of evil genius we should have expected from the company that first leaned to weaponize nostalgia.

Okay, before Nintendo sues me into oblivion, no i don’t really think that’s their plan. But that headline was too good not to use and you know, you just know, that story’s like that will start popping up right after release. But if i’m being completely honest, i’m okay with this but i don’t really see the point as much as i do with other ports the Switch has been getting lately. The games that have done the best are the ones you can play portable, and i don’t think that’s true for Dark Souls. Boss fights can last for a while, and simply getting to them can take just as long. That kind of extended play session runs counter to the reasons portable gaming is a thing. I’ll be the first to say i could be wrong here, hell i’ll even go so far as to say i hope i am. But for right now that thought is hard to get rid of. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens in a few months.

Mario/Rabbisds RPG is real…for some reason


There’s this “really funny” joke people like to make regarding Nintendo, maybe you’ve heard it before: “Nintendo just does the same thing over and over”. You see, it’s funny becuase we’re going to ignore the aesthetic and game play shack-ups and focus on the fact that each game uses an established formula in order to make those shake-ups more palpable.  Well, here you go you finest of comedians, Nintendo is doing something new. And stupid.

Okay, okay. Before any one jumps down my throat, yes i wish Nintendo would do more in the “originality” department too. Maybe develop some more new IP’s, maybe do something with some of their old ones (cough cough Metroid cough cough). But over all i really do think the idea that Nintendo is simply resting on their laurels is a bit over blown. I also think that public perception is starting to get to Nintendo, which has lead them down a dark and very stupid path.

I mean….just look at this. LOOK AT IT. Mario with a gun? A Cosplaying “Rabbisd” dressed as Peach taking a selfie? This is just, so….so dumb. This is what you get when you force Nintendo to be too creative.

Okay, okay. I’m being a little hyperbolic. Just a bit. Dumb idea’s often make for good games, so it’s kind of unfair to judge too prematurely.

Nintendo Switch (Finally) Gets Announced

After ages of rumors, the new Nintendo console has finally been announced. And it’s pretty much exactly what we were all thinking it was: a console-portable hybrid. That alone doesn’t bother me, i think this is an interesting idea an exactly the kind of hardware experiment i was expecting for a new Nintendo console. But as this is so much like what we’ve been hearing, i have to ask why they waited so long to release this trailer. With the sole exception of the move back to cart based games instead of disks, this is pretty much spot on what all the rumors i’ve heard were claiming. But let’s not focus on that right now. This trailer showed some more important things i want to talk bout, plus there’s some other news i found when looking through my news feed.

First off: Skyrim. While everyone makes jokes about how Nintendo rehashes the same franchises over and over, the fact is that you buy a Nintendo console for Nintendo games. With that being said, 3rd party support will never hurt a console, and this is looking like the first time Nintendo will actually have some since the N64 (and lets be honest, the gamecube was still pretty much “The Nintendo Box” even with the support it had). So for Nintendo to have Skyrim in the trailer so prominently leads me to think they are trying to make up for two console generations of too few games. Plus, Nintendo also released this image…

download…which also gives me a good bit of hope for what the console may be able to put out in the future.

However, there was one bit of information the trailer didn’t show, and that was the price. The Wii and The WiiU both stayed near the low end in terms of price compared to their competition. I’m hoping that continues, but i’ve seen a Swedish and Australian pre-order campaign for the Switch that may suggest otherwise.


Going off of what some one told me, those both are around $1100. That worries me. To be fair, the  EB Games listing does say it’s price of a “placeholder”, so my dread may be undo. But if Nintendo is going to try going toe to toe with Microsoft and Sony instead of just playing to their fan base, they are going to need toch that can stand up to the PS4 and Xbox One, and those are both costly machines. So at the very least i think we should be looking at around the $400-$500 price range. That seems fair when compared to the tech that’s out, But with the WiiU only being four years old and coming after a generation that lasted nearly a decade, that may be too much too soon for a lot of people. That is pure speculation on my end and i am not an economics major, but i think it’s something to keep an eye on nonetheless.

Other than that i kind of love everything we’ve seen here. This has actually made me consider buying a Nintendo console for the first time in ages and i can’t wait too see more from it.

All of that and i didn’t even make one BDSM joke regarding the name “Switch”. I’m either really proud or really disappointed in myself.